Dealing with the Most Difficult Clients

Dealing with the Most Difficult Clients

by Joseph Shaub

posted by LA Bankruptcy Attorney

You should have heard those faint alarms going off after the first half hour of Susan’s initial consultation. You were her second lawyer (and you’re aware of the “Don’t Be the Third Lawyer” rule), and she was extremely critical of the handling of the case by her prior attorney. You’d never dealt with him so you didn’t have a frame of reference. Yet, as Susan continued to tell her story, she seemed to vilify everyone who had been involved in the case. The father of her three children was “abusive” and she was afraid of him; she had been in therapy for a while, but that ended in dissatisfaction with the counselor’s lack of empathy; Susan was concerned that the parenting evaluator was biased. She came across as an intelligent, charming woman. Every concern she had was entirely plausible. It wasn’t until you had invested thousands of dollars of energy and time into the case, and at times felt compelled to tell Susan things she didn’t want to hear, that she suddenly turned on you with all of the venom that she had previously held for her husband. As it happened, you became the second of four attorneys and you are left with a receivable which you aren’t eager to pursue, given Susan’s penchant for accusation and conflict.

Or perhaps you have had clients like John, a successful businessman who is inclined to dismiss your advice whenever offered. He came to you because he had heard that you were an excellent attorney (even the best in a particular field) and he is enraged when the temporary orders fail to grant him 100 percent of the relief he has sought. He is estranged from his wife (of course) and his teen-age children. He is invariably rude to your staff and very demanding of your time. He insists on being treated like a “special client.”

Leon is another kind of client that some have endured. He is extremely attractive and charming. Your first impression is quite positive and you actually feel some sympathy for his statements that his wife is trying to cheat him. He can’t pay the full advance fee deposit you seek because he has a deal that is closing in three weeks and he desperately needs some work done on his case immediately. You take him on as a client because, frankly, you like him and he seems very forthcoming. As you get more deeply into the case, however, your misgivings bloom. He continues to put you off on the fee, with imminently reasonable excuses; he dodges discovery requests for financial documents; he blatantly ignores the pick-up and drop-off times in the temporary parenting plan. After two months and a $7,000 receivable, you are forced to cut your losses and withdraw.

Finally, there is Mary, a strikingly attractive woman, who dresses such that your receptionist and staff turn her into the topic of the day whenever she comes by to drop things off (which is more frequently than any of your other clients). She is extremely emotional, and you took her on (with a tiny tug of doubt in your gut) because she triggered the protector in you. She was truly needy. However, that tiny tug became a full-on shove when she began calling the office almost every day — sometimes three or four times a day. Your staff wasn’t able to “understand or help” her. Again, the fees were running up disproportionately. When she would come in for appointments, she would carry on for about 90 percent of the meeting about her feelings, her concerns, her husband, her co-workers, her plans — almost everything but the business at hand, which might be reviewing and signing off on a declaration.

How we respond to these clients in the volatile environment of a family law case will not only bear on whether we get paid, but it will also affect our freedom from bar complaints and suits. It is widely acknowledged that family law is the leading magnet for bar complaints. A recent report of the Arizona State Bar, for example, noted that 28 percent of their complaints arose out of family law matters. Failing to adequately communicate with clients is the number-one cause of bar complaints. Difficult clients almost compel us to avoid them in order to manage our calendars, our energy, and our sense of well-being. The way that we manage our “normally distraught” clients is certainly important. However, the greater share of complaints and potential malpractice suits will arise from our pool of clients who suffer from a condition that is described by the DSM-IV (the “Bible” of mental health diagnostics) as “personality disorders.”

Mental health practitioners have long been aware of a particular difficulty that was termed a “personality disorder” in the DSM-IV. Rhoda Feinberg and James Tom Greene describe a personality disorder in their article The Intractable Client — Guidelines for Working with Personality Disorders in Family Law (35 Fam. & Conc. Crt. Rev. 351 (1997)) as follows: A personality disorder is a clinical term used to describe people who are “locked in” for many years with certain exaggerated personality traits that interfere with all aspects of their functioning in life.

Both the DSM-IV and William Eddy1 aptly describe these personality disorders as reflecting “enduring traits.”

While there are nine personality disorders described in the Feinberg and Greene article, Eddy, in his excellent High Conflict Personalities, focuses on the four which he identifies as particularly challenging for the family law practitioner. These are Borderline, Antisocial, Narcissistic, and Histrionic.

In the shortest of shorthands:2

Antisocials (Leon) are characterized by a collection of traits which may include the failure to conform to societal norms with respect to lawful behaviors; deceitfulness; impulsiveness; aggressiveness; consistent irresponsibility; and lack of remorse over the injuries they cause, often, but not always, accompanied by a very beguiling personality.

Narcissists (John) are characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance; a preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, or beauty; a belief that he/she is special; a sense of entitlement; a lack of empathy; and a tendency to be interpersonally exploitive.

Histrionics (Mary) are uncomfortable when not the center of attention; display rapidly shifting and shallow expressions of emotion; consistently use physical appearance to draw attention to themselves; tend toward theatricality in expression; and consider relationships to be more intimate than they actually are.

Borderlines (Susan) tend to have a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships; be impulsive in their intimate relationships; experience chronic feelings of emptiness; exhibit inappropriately intense anger; and possess a markedly unstable self-image. Borderlines are noted for putting the other person on a pedestal (“You are a brilliant lawyer. I cannot believe my luck in finding you.”), followed by intense denigration and anger (Bar grievances, lawsuits, abrupt dismissals, etc.).

Family lawyers who have engaged in custody disputes may be familiar with the name Millon, as Theodore Millon is the principle author of the psychological instrument, together with the MMPI-2 (Minnesota Mulitphasic Personality Inventory-2 — a widely used and widely researched test of adult psychopathology), which is conventionally administered to parties in a parenting evaluation. In his excellent text Personality Disorders in Modern Life (2000), Dr. Millon notes that each personality disorder may be seen as residing along a continuum of behaviors or traits. Most of the characteristics of a particular personality disorder may be found, albeit in different intensity and presentation, among the “normal” or even “highly successful” population. Along the Antisocial continuum, for example (but not into the “red zone” of difficult, alienating, or destructive behavior), is the daring risk-taker who takes care of the business many of us wouldn’t touch. Not so far along the Narcissist continuum is the supremely confident, and successful, businessperson. Moderate Histrionic qualities impart a sense of drama and entertainment to life, while the drama which is so acute in the Borderline adds spice to an otherwise dull life when carefully measured.

When pushed to the level of pathology, the four “high-conflict personalities” are found by Eddy to be driven by the following fundamental fears: Borderline — fear of abandonment; Narcissist — fear of inferiority; Antisocials — fear of being dominated; Histrionics — fear of being ignored.

Additionally, what really differentiates these people, in Eddy’s view, is that they perceive (and persuade others to share in this perception) that the cause of their distress is external. Eddy notes:

Because they think their internal problems are external problems, the difficulties of those with personality disorders continue and become quite distressing.3

High-conflict personalities have enduring patterns of behavior characterized by:

1. Chronic feelings of internal distress;
2. Think the cause is external;
3. Behave inappropriately to relieve distress;
4. Distress continues unrelieved;
5. Receive negative feedback about behavior which escalates internal distress but thinks the cause is external so behaves inappropriately . . . and on and on.4

Not everyone with a personality disorder becomes a high-conflict personality. Only those who are also “Persuasive Blamers” seem to become high-conflict personalities. Persuasive Blamers persuade others that their internal problems are external, and caused by something else or someone else. Once others are persuaded to get the problem backwards, the dispute escalates into a long-term, High-conflict dispute — which few people other than Persuasive Blamers can tolerate.5

The thing to remember about these people is that they labor under a real psychological burden. Their personalities tend to be rigid, and they have little tolerance for self-reflection that might challenge their (often) fragile egos. While conflict is stressful for most of our clients, the circumstances that bring these folks into our offices are fertile ground for the maladaptive behavior which make them so tough to handle. So how can we best protect ourselves, and the professional relationship, from the encroachments of the strivings of these clients? Consider these seven closing tips:

1. Set clear boundaries. The rules of the attorney-client relationship must be assiduously adhered to. Telephone calls must be billed, or they will mushroom. Deadlines must be clearly communicated and enforced. Bills must be paid in a timely fashion. Be particularly careful to dress and act professionally with these clients. They should never be permitted to verbally abuse you or your staff.

2. No special treatment. Do not stray from your customary practice to allow these clients to feel special. Avoid unique financial arrangements. Don’t give the client your home phone number. Don’t meet at odd hours.

3. Do not avoid the client. Failure to return phone calls, while relieving you of stress and aggravation, will cause the client’s anxiety to escalate. If necessary, tell the client that you will not be readily available to him. Instruct your staff on specific procedures when dealing with multiple and insistent telephone calls.

4. Communicate clearly. While e-mail has a down-side with these clients, as you are likely to be deluged with messages, at the same time, you are able to clearly communicate expectations and possible outcomes in writing so you have a clear paper trail that you can refer to. Don’t believe that just because you told the client something, it had impact on him and he retained it. If you have certain rules or boundaries to set, communicate them very clearly and, if necessary, repeatedly.

5. Don’t get seduced by adoration. This is particularly true with the Borderline personality, who is gifted at the art of seduction (“I don’t know how I was ever so lucky as to find you for a lawyer.”) followed by vertiginous denigration (accusations of betrayal, malpractice, or unethical conduct). Keep your relationship with this client level.

6. Be consistent. These clients will repeatedly try to push the boundaries you set. They will test you and your staff. Counter-intuitively, they will be more anxious if you allow there to be even minor variations in your process and relationship style. You will be more likely to calm this anxiety with consistency.

7. Stay at arm’s length. Almost every one of these personalities has an attractive quality about them. You may be drawn to the Antisocial’s charm, the Borderline’s need for protection, the Narcissist’s powerful personality, and your desire to impress or the sheer entertainment value of the Histrionic. In fact, if you find yourself thinking of a client in an emotional or personal way because of these qualities, be very careful. You will have the greatest success managing the client, their case, and the post-litigation fallout if you strictly adhere to a professional, friendly, arm’s-length attitude toward the client.

Ask among your colleagues, and you will hear the “war stories” of client relations gone sour due to mistakes made with these four “high-conflict personalities.” The solution can’t be to avoid them, because we often won’t know we have this problem until after we have been retained. Additionally, these people sorely need our guidance, professional advice, and representation. The work does not have to end with grumbling and distress — and can even result in a deep sense of professional satisfaction — if we keep our eyes and ears open and follow some basic rules once the red flags begin to pop up.

How to Start Your Own Mobile Notary Business

Posted by Mobile Notary Charlotte
If you are looking for a way to make a little extra money without spending your days tied to a desk, starting a mobile notary business might be the perfect thing for you. As a mobile notary, you will go straight to your clients whenever they need notary services.

Start a new business can be overwhelming at first. There are so many questions to answer and hundreds of little details to get in order. For mobile notaries, it is important to have reliable transportation. Many will find it's beneficial to keep notary credentials and a photo ID with them at all times. This is helpful if you go to homes and offices of new clients who need a way to verify who you are. A retractable badge holder is recommended, but other types of ID badge holders will work too.

While it's difficult to cover everything you need to know about starting a mobile notary business, the following suggestions will get you started and help you determine if a notary business is something you would like to pursue.

Becoming a Notary

Before you can start, you have to apply for a notary commission. You can go the National Notary Association for help locating the appropriate application forms. Requirements may vary depending on your location. You will need to invest in notary tools such as an embosser, and it is recommended that you buy a receipt booklet or use business software to keep track of your income and expenses. As a mobile notary, you may find a GPS device is helpful for getting you to your customers on time.

Setting Your Rates

You can get a feel for rates in your area by doing a little market research. Conduct a survey to see how much other notaries charge. Don't under value your services by setting cheaper rates. Think about your expenses when establishing what you will charge your customers. You may want to charge a flat fee per signature and then assign a travel fee based on the distance you have to travel. A second, but less popular, option is to charge an hourly rated based on travel and service time.

Advertising Your Business

No business will be successful without customers. So you need let your potential clients know what services you offer. Try networking with other business, and make sure you have business cards handy. You might find that a customer won't need you immediately, but they will remember to call you the next time they need notary services.

Get in touch with your local chamber of commerce and the Better Business Bureau. Find out what business startup resources are available to you to help you build your clientele.

Advertising is helpful. If you can afford it, try buying ad space with your local online newspaper or classified service. It's also a good idea to have a well-ranked website so that people who search for notary services online find your business and contact information.

For more details id badge holders about and retractable badge, please visit us online.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Adam_M._Anderson

Free CLE for a tough economy.

Posted by Concord North Carolina Lawyer

February 4, 2010 by lawmrh

According to the American Bar Association (ABA), 46 jurisdictions require practicing lawyers in their jurisdictions to complete mandatory Continuing Legal Education (CLE). See ABA-CLE | Summary of State MCLE Requirements.

State requirements vary. But one thing is certain, lawyers in those 46 states must be mindful of satisfying their jurisdiction’s CLE requirements, that is, if they want to keep practicing law there.

It was once naively thought that the advent of online, web-based CLE would lower CLE costs to lawyers. After all, once initial program setup costs are recovered, each incremental set of online eyeballs costs next to nothing. What a laugh! Why price something reasonably when you can overcharge and get away with it?
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So what’s a thrifty and prudent lawyer to do, especially in this economy? Well, like Smokey Robinson once sang, “My mama told me, you’d better shop around.” And when you’re shopping around, nothing beats “FREE.”
Free CLE.

With the disclaimer that free doesn’t last forever, the last time I looked, the following were still available online. Best of all, there’s no qualifier, e.g., coupon cutting or required membership.

The ABA has the widest range of free or open access offerings. The complete list of open access CLE at the ABA is at http://www.abanet.org/cle/clenow/ but the following are illustrative.

Preventing Disciplinary Complaints: Advice from a Prosecutor and a Defense Lawyer

Fair Housing Laws and Seniors with Disabilities

Race and Gender Bias in Judicial Election and Selection

Legal Aftercare for the Domestic Violence Survivor

Contingent Fees: Access to the Court or Threat to Capitalism?

Another source is at IP Colloquium taught by UCLA Law Professor Doug Lichtman at http://www.ipcolloquium.com/current.html. See the following link, Intellectual Property Colloquium – Current Show.

Past programs at IP Colloquium include Intellectual Property Colloquium – Patent Reform: Damages and Can Content Survive Online? « Intellectual Property Colloquium

Although several years old, other free CLE programs, which were originally offered for Oregon and Washington, can be found at Free CLE.

Yet another source of gratis online CLE are professional liability insurance carriers. Some companies offer free CLE to their insured. Still others provide free CLE as inducements to prospective customers. For example, find 1.5 hours of ethics credit at Lawyers’ Mutual Insurance Company.
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CLE benefits.

Varied and diverse CLE programs present lawyers with the opportunity to expose themselves to other practice areas. So even if a lawyer is not an intellectual property lawyer, the IP Colloquium lectures may be of interest outside their customary practice area. Or if you aren’t an elder law attorney, you may still welcome the chance to study this practice area, too, through programs available, for example, through The National Center on Elder Abuse, (NCEA). The NCEA has a webcast library available at http://www.ncea.aoa.gov/ncearoot/main_site/library/events_webcast/events_archive.aspx. Please note, though, that approval may be needed from your state bar to receive credit since the NCEA’s programs aren’t necessarily intended as continuing legal education. See additional Caveats below.

Not quite free.

While not quite free, nominally priced providers are readily found. Lower cost online providers seriously undercut the overpriced merchant. This includes not surprisingly, many state bar CLE departments along with the usual big name online suspects. So there’s absolutely no reason to pay $150 to $200 per hour for online CLE.

I don’t endorse any provider over another. Moreover, the following list is hardly exhaustive. With this said, a few of the discount providers are listed below:

www.cleonline.com

Online Continuing Legal Education for Attorneys – CLE | MCLE or http://www.attorneycredits.com/

lawline.com »

Caveats.
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Always inquire, preferably beforehand, if a listed course is approved in your jurisdiction. If not, you’ll need to access the permission approval form available from your respective state bar. Nevada’s form is available at Nevada Board of Continuing Legal Education while information on Arizona’s requirements are at http://www.myazbar.org/CLE/cle_providers.cfm

Section and alumni deals.

Last, check CLE offerings through bar sections and law school alumni groups. Many of them offer programs that are either free or nominally priced. Examples include the following,
Legal Aid Center of Southern Nevada – Free CLE for Attorneys
Cornell Law School: Event Details
CLE Programs: Salmon P. Chase College of Law
James E. Rogers College of Law: Alumni and Giving

One last add on price and quality.

We’ve all attended dull, superficial and poorly-organized programs where presenters and their Powerpoint slides stuff 20 lbs. of information into 5 lb. sacks. Worse still are the half day seminars at $300 a pop with little or nothing of substantive value except for the “Certificate of Attendance” given out at the end.

Inexplicably, you get what you pay for doesn’t necessarily apply to CLE, especially the online programs. Price, then, is no determinant of quality. More often than not, you won’t get what you paid for.

12 Ways To Drive More Traffic To Your Web Site

Posted by Concord NC Lawyer

By Kristina Mills

Just because you now have a Web site doesn't mean people other than your current customers will visit it. Getting hits isn't that different than attracting customers to a business location. If your shop is tucked away in an alley without a sign and you don't advertise, there's a good chance that the only new customers you get will stumble across it by mistake.

Having said that, getting traffic to your Web site is possible and it needn't be that expensive, either.
1. Search Engine Optimization

By learning more about what Search Engines look for when indexing sites, it's possible to adjust your site to suit their requirements. There are a number of factors to consider. Here are just a few:

Linking strategies - The more links that point to your site, the more instant traffic you will generate, but also, the more favourably search engines will rank your site.

Keyword density and relevance - The number of relevant keywords which feature in your body copy and the more frequently they appear in relation to the number of words on your page, the better your site will rank.

Site design - Search engines love certain site designs and dislike others. By knowing which ones are looked upon favourably you can then ensure your site design complies. For instance, framed sites are generally frowned upon.

Keywords and other metatags - In the HTML code behind your site there's the opportunity to include keywords. These are a list of phrases that your visitors are likely to type into a search engine to find your type of business. The more relevant the keyword, the more hits you're likely to get.

Knowing what people type into search engines when they're surfing the Internet can give you an ace up your sleeve when it comes to adding keywords to your site. Naturally, adding popular keywords gives you a much better chance of getting hits. You can subscribe to a free report listing the top 500 keywords on a monthly basis through the Word Tracker Web site.
2. Submitting your site's URL to different search engines

Even though we mentioned that keywords are powerful they're useless if you haven't submitted your site to search engines. To have your site appear when people type in a keyword it's critical that a particular search engine knows about your site. To do that, you can either submit your site manually by visiting each and every search engine on the Web, you can enlist the services of someone to do it for you.

Whatever you do, don't feel tempted to utilize the services of someone who automatically submits your site to hundreds or even thousands of search engines. This is considered to be spam and could lead to your site being blacklisted.

Another point to consider is paying for search engine indexing. Most of the major search engines now offer paid indexing where, for a small fee, you can ensure your site gets indexed quickly and/or you can guarantee a high placement. With the major search engines, this is well worth the money.
3. Using Newsgroups

Newsgroups are an effective way of building an email list if you use net etiquette wisely. Basically, newsgroups are forums bringing together people who are interested in a certain topic. They post and reply to messages online. There are tens of thousands of newsgroups split into a broad range of categories ... anything from MP3 and X rated topics to a variety of business related subjects. You can build a mailing list by posting very soft sell messages on a newsgroup mentioning some information that you have that may interest viewers and then point them to your email address or your URL. An effective way would be to offer subscription to a newsletter or a report.
4. Purchasing banner advertising

Some say banner advertising works and some say it doesn't, however as a lead generation tool it's (more often than not) much more cost effective than print media (depending on how net-friendly your type of business is and the effectiveness of your banner).

There are a selection of "pay per click" advertising opportunities where you only pay for the number of click throughs your ad experiences. This is a great way of testing various approaches in a very affordable way, not to mention that it's a fantastic way of maximizing your ROI (return-on-investment).
5. Participating in banner exchange programs

A number of Web sites offer free banner exchange programs where you include banners on your site in exchange for your banner featuring on someone else's site. Generally, for each two hits a banner on your site generates, you are entitled to one banner hit on someone else's site.

This can be a very effective tool to generate business, but bear in mind that many of the banners in these programs relate to gambling, money making opportunities and adult sites. It's important to do a little homework first to ensure that the banners you'll be placing on your site are appropriate.

Be aware that some search engines frown upon these programs, so becoming involved could see your site drop in rankings.
6. Advertising in E-Zines

If your inbox is anything like mine, you'll know that there are oodles and oodles of e-zines out there and many of them offer the opportunity to pay for advertising space within the publication.

At www.newslettersforfree.com you can instantly subscribe to hundreds of E-Zines and in turn you can also have your E-Zine featured in their directory for a monthly fee.
7. Listing your site in online directories

A number of sites will grant free listings in their business directories. Just search on 'free business directory listings' or contact us and we can arrange this for you.
8. Email marketing

Not only can a Web site be a powerful sales tool, but it's also a great way of building greater client loyalty. To do that, you can include member only areas which offer value-added information and other membership privileges. You can host a discussion forum where members can exchange ideas.
9. Email marketing to purchased "opt-in" lists

You can hire lists of people who have indicated they would like to receive information on certain topics. Even though you'll be mailing to a cold list, it's not SPAM because these people have indicated that they would like to receive email on certain topics.

On the other hand, if you send unsolicited email you're deemed as 'sending spam' and there are all sorts of possible ramifications including your ISP closing your account, net heads jamming up your email with thousands (even tens of thousands) of abuse messages rendering your email account virtually useless until you've cleared the barrage of messages.
10. Advertise in offline media

It's important to use traditional media (such as newspapers and magazines) to promote your site. Naturally, the extent to which you'll do this will depend on your budget, however with print media, the good news is that your ad doesn't need to be exceptionally large because all you're trying to sell in your advertising are visits to your Web site.
11. Create affiliate programs

This is an online version of a referral program where you pay other businesses money when a sale is made via a link they have from their site to yours. The good news is that it needn't be that complicated to set one up. It's simply a matter of developing a system to track where all your sales are made from and then developing a system to pay the affiliate fees to your affiliates. One such system that is perfect for marketing ebooks, as an example, is ClickBank.
12. Advertising at free classified sites

There are sites available that will automatically post a FREE introductory ad to hundreds of classifieds sites. For more internet marketing tips visit the Words that Sell Web site.
About the Author

Kristina is a successful and internationally acclaimed Copywriter, Internet Entrepreneur, Author and Speaker. Kristina has also pioneered many business success stories.